Beltane

 

 

As I stare out the window, I lose track of the raindrops. Beltane is right around the corner; as of this writing it should be clear this weekend. My next test: wander the woods with a larger group than I am used to.

 

Do I wear my ears?

 

Stay tuned

Risk

When even the muses are amused, and amusing.................

The shelf fungus makes a nice fairy stair,
 don't you think?

While most folks think of Easter as all sunrise services and Jesus, Sunday found the roomie and myself wandering at a local park. I guess in a sense, this is my Church now.

This makes sense on so many levels. No special equipment, no particular building. Just trees and birds and the air Outside.

I am especially at peace by myself. Perhaps I am a solitary? Alone as a tree in a midst of a forest. There is green around me, but I alone am Me.

The letter I wrote Saturday to a friend still sits by the television set. Do I place the stamp and take the risk she is no longer there? Do I send the note, and take the risk she is no longer the person I knew? Do I take that risk, and hope she understands?

I am slowly tearing myself apart. Emotionally.

Aye, Scratch

Admirer

The gift was simple at first appearance;
a kind of mental-locket.
No portrait, just a heart beat.
It grew complicated when I realized
that I had no idea to whom the pulse belonged;
Nor do I understand why it was given to me.

Today's adventure involved my faun ears, and a dogwood wreath for a hat. It stood to reason that the dogwoods were blooming, why should I not, as well?

After some finagling with a Japanese maple, this showed up on the camera.

Somewhere there is a kindred (tree) spirit who looks for me. I'll find you, sooner or later.
Stay tuned.
Aye, Scratch

All In.

Never bring to the Table what you cannot afford to Lose.

Last night's dreaming involved being in a Great Hall. I had the vague impression of looking down from a great height (as from a balcony) and seeing a pile of dishes lying on the floor below. I had the vague notion of going down and washing them, as they were dirty dishes. And someone telling me I didn't have to, because it "wasn't my job". But I felt I wouldn't mind it, besides, they were very nice dishes (I distinctly remember a ceramic water pitcher, it was white and had red and blue flowers, and a blue rim.), and I wanted a closer look at them. Also remember a giant dish, it was long and alabaster looking, with a gold rim (we have a set of china sort of like it, my sister has it in her possession).

It's puzzling that I seem to remember colors in these dreams, but I am not sure if I actually "see" the colors, or whether they're just suggested in my mind.

Aye,
Scratch

A Path Of One.

Sometimes you must forget who you are. Only then can you remember how to feel.

The past couple of months have seen me wandering a path all my own. I have learned a few things about myself--mostly that whatever direction the journey is supposed to lead, it is up to me to do it--because no one else can do it. This may sound like common sense, but the lesson has been long in coming, and a hard one to swallow. Because I am totally alone in this.

.............The ones I am closest to, I cannot share with. They may accept, but will certainly not understand. The ones I wanted to be closer to, who perhaps WOULD understand, have provided much in the way of "advice", but it is chiefly emotional support I need at present, and no one--no one at all--seems willing or able to assist me, as they're all wrapped up in their own lives. So I'm currently following a path of one.

I have proceeded in laying some groundwork for the future, but only time will tell what will be at the end of it.

Aye,
Scratch

A Wedding

For some, tradition and ritual are interchangeable.

I awoke this morning from another odd dream. It lingered enough on my consciousness for me to write down the salient points.

I was apparently to act as proxy for someone during a wedding ceremony. The husband-to-be could not attend--perhaps he was in the military, or was ill, or who knows--he couldn't be there. So I was the stand-in, for some reason I cannot fathom.

It hadn't happened yet; we were in the planning stages. My dress was to be a lacy yellow thing, and the date had been set for November the 1st. I'm not sure what is significant about either the color or the date.

Aye,
Scratch